I just ruined my mom's holiday...
I feel like shit. I am shit. I am just a big fucking asshole. I don't deserve anything.
I wanna die. I am so selfish. I wanted to go there to be with him, and have fun. Just like last year. And she just wanted to take a break from her daily routine. She just wanted to enjoy herself. And I ruined it all.

I wanna die.

I think it's time to dance with the blades again.
After a long, long time.

Hello, love. Long time no see. "It sure has been a long, long time. What do you have for me?" I could offer you a taste of a wine, the metallic taste will just melt your heart. "Sounds good, I'll have it." Alright, a big one or a small one? "Big one, thank you."

And so the dance begins.